I’ve been trying to write an assignment the last couple of days. I now realise the importance of being interested in what I’m writing about. My dissertation seemed so much easier and I put that down to the fact it was something I wanted to write about. I wanted to find out more, and I wanted to share my findings with the rest of the world. I actually quite enjoyed it! However, now I am back to assignments for other modules, and it seems that however interesting I might find the lectures, writing an assignment holds no interest for me whatsoever. It is merely jumping through hoops, as my Mum always says. I’ve got to the point with my education now where hoops no longer hold the same importance. Don’t get me wrong, I still try to do my very best in every essay I submit, and I would feel overwhelmingly guilty if I failed to do that, but it has become a chore. Oh well, only two assignments left before I finish Uni forever! Can’t wait 😛 In the meantime, here is another bit of prose writing, this time from the end of April this year:
‘All that remained was the to tell the truth. All the lies had been exhausted. All the disappointment experienced, and all the hope burnt out. It was his last chance to tell her exactly where things stood if he wanted her to forgive. There was still time, but it was quickly running out.
He took a deep breath and grasped the door handle. The other side of that door was his future, and it was completely in his hands. Fate was no longer an option, it was entirely based on his next move. He imagined her sitting there, facing the window twirling her hair the way only she could. He couldn’t help smiling slightly. She was so beautiful when she was nervous. Her eyes glistened with apprehension, and her mouth twitched, not knowing whether to smile or frown. He pushed this image from his mind, he had to be serious and honest and not clouded by emotion.
His hand turned slowly, releasing the latch from the frame. He hoped her head had turned at the sound. But then he thought maybe it was best if she hadn’t. The element of surprise, that’s what he needed. The suspense needed to be broken before it had built to give him the best chance of success. His eyes started to cloud, his hands were shaking and his brow began to glisten. The pressure had started to get to him now…only time would tell.
A small push. That’s all it required. A small, unobtrusive push of the door was all was needed to open onto his future. But he couldn’t do it. It was too much for him. The hope of success battled so strongly with the fear of failure that his mind and heart didn’t know where they were. Those emotions he had tried to bury were rearing their ugly heads at the critical period. He let go the handle and turned to leave.
‘Come in!’ rang out a silky voice. She had heard his heart pounding outside the door and the suspense had got too much for her that she had to do something. There was only so long she would wait for him to make a move. Only so long she could perch facing the window twisting her hair until it broke. She was close to tears, and her mouth was dry from emotion. How much she longed for him to sweep in and hold her close, tell her he would never leave her. But he didn’t come. She waited and waited until she heard a creak outside the door. He was turning. She had to act.
That’s when she spoke, her voice breaking with the effort after so long silent. Silence. She didn’t move, he dared not breathe. Slowly he turned and pushed into the room. She immediately stood up and faced him. There they stood for what seemed an age, merely deciding the next move. He was paralysed with fear, she with tension. Their eyes met, and without words an understanding was made. So much was said through those looks, and so much truth was conveyed. He realised then that the truth was simple. He just needed to be there. She needed him more than anything else in the world, and he needed her.
The pause was broken and they rushed together. She was engulfed in his embrace and she felt right at home. There was beauty in that scene that can’t be explained in words. Just like the truth he tried to express for so many months that now was said through silence. They were safe in each others arms, and secured in each others hearts. Connected by an understanding that relied on a greater power than either expected, and neither had before experienced. An understanding that can only be felt. An understanding called love.’